Was this "cop" a bully?

I don't know if "bully" is the word, but he is certainly insensitive. It is his job to ask such questions, but asking them to you and not the other man, and asking them with a smile when it is clear that you are visibly shaken and upset is inappropriate. Also, if he truly had suspicions to that effect, he should have administered a field sobriety test and/or taken you in for a blood test. So I'd say that he is an incredibly rude and unfeeling individual, yes.